Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Sports Bra & The Beast [Blobette Speaks]

Yeah.. I think Disney got it all wrong. That would have been a way cooler story, with twists and turns and saggy boobs..???!!!


So Kim put a new banner up, which I think is fantastic-- but it leads me to think only 5 things (one of which you will hear right now).

Why the crap don't sports bras hold my boobs where they should be?? Urgh. See.. if I were skinnier, and less boobed then PERHAPS the girls could sit comfortably on Mt. Flesh without running for cover in the valley.

Also, don't lie.. you think my workout fashion is fantastic. I know, I know.. spray painted tshirt, winter socks and some sweat pants baby............

It's okay, your envy only fuels my greatness.

So now that we've covered the basics of breast placement 101, so let's move on to the next course in our lesson today.


Yep, there she blows.. the workout beast in all her glory. So smug, standing there atop her throne o' fitness; mocking me for my sheer inability to correctly execute a push up. There's no crying in baseball, and apparently working out.

So Kim & I previewed our fate today by watching a bit of Lady Jillian here's workout DVD. I haven't even started my first lunge yet and already she mocked me for my noobness! (Urban Dictonary has plenty of colorful explanations at to what the term "noob" means, for all my non-gaming lose---I mean, buddies :) )

So.. I have already concluded that this beast will not get the best of me. Her trash talking, smug looking, yelling, wanna be drill instructor, skinny heffa being will get my fat behind in to shape. She better, or Kim wants her money back :)

The DVD says that you will lose 20lbs in 30 days. CLEARLY I am not an idiot. I know how these things work.. you have to work your tush off and kill it just as the dvds show you--- that may, or may not happen.. but we do intend on working at it until we can do all three stages (LOL @ YOU STAGE 3 YOU THINK YOU SOOO FUNNY GIRL).

Basically, I'm going to do this mess.. it's going ot happen. I'm gonna get hot and sexy and wear that same little outfit that she's wearing. Wait, no.. Nix that, I'm going to wear this:

Yep, that's right.. I'm gonna rock it out like Princess Leia. So what if it was insulting to her in the storyline. I'm not a slave & I think it's saucy.

Well, you folks have a lovely evening.. I'm going to continue to stew over my anger at the failure that is sports bras.

The Blobette is OVA & Out xoxo

1 comment:

  1. Like I have said before... Jillian Michaels is one scary man.